Why do people criticize? It’s an age-old question, one that has been around as long as humans ourselves.
As someone who is LGBTQ and nonbinary, it can be particularly disheartening when when something negative is posted about queer or gender nonconforming people, either on social media or in the mainstream media.
7 Facts to Know About Criticism
If you experience this, then it can be empowering to remember these 7 facts about criticism.
1. Criticism Reflects Them, Not You
Remember, criticism is a reflection of who they are, not who you are. It is created by them, by their mind, their emotions, and their limiting beliefs.
Just because they “sent” you criticism, doesn’t mean you need to accept “delivery”.
2. Criticism is a Sign of Fear
People who are hurtful are always fearful. People who are at peace with themselves are kind.
As described by shame expert Brené Brown, criticism is a coping mechanism used by people who feel unworthy. It’s purpose is to shift the spotlight off of oneself and onto someone or something else in an effort to feel safe.
3. Criticism is a Sign of a Weak Self
Only people with a weak sense of self are intimidated by others who are different than them.
If they had a strong sense of self, the way you live your life wouldn’t affect their consciousness.
4. Criticism is a Function of the “Monkey Mind”
Humans are mammals, just like our evolutionary cousins, the apes. The difference between us and them? We have a mind that can tell stories and create all sort of wild, fear-inducing future projections.
So, why do people criticize? They criticize because the mind is a dramatic “soap opera” script writer.
It presents us with a range of crazy stories, most of which never come true.
5. Criticism Results from Different Interpretations
There at 7.8 billion people on this earth, which means there are 7.8 billion different interpretations of reality.
It is important to honor the truth of your experience. It is also inclusive (and kind) to allow their reality to co-exist.
6. Criticism is a Sign of Success
If you’re not getting criticism, you’re not doing enough. Criticism should be your goal, because it’s an indicator that you’re commanding their attention and dominating their thoughts.
Go get yourself some more of it!
7. Michael Jordan Doesn’t Leave Instagram comments
And finally, Michael Jordan doesn’t leave Instagram comments. He doesn’t leave Facebook or YouTube comments either.
Meaning, you’re never going to get criticism from someone doing MORE than you. You’ll only get hate from someone doing LESS than you.
Let that one sink in.