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You are here: Home / LGBTQ+ / Why is it that a lot of nonbinary people don’t like the terms girl or boy?
Why is it that a lot of nonbinary people don’t like the terms girl or boy?

Why is it that a lot of nonbinary people don’t like the terms girl or boy?

December 25, 2020 By Cade Hildreth Leave a Comment

This is a question that I got the other day from a supportive family member who was trying to better understand their nonbinary sibling:

“Why is it that a lot of nonbinary people don’t like the terms boy or girl? Thanks for helping me to understand.”

Here was my answer:

Because everyone’s experience is unique, I definitely can’t answer this for all nonbinary people. However, for me being nonbinary means that neither the identity ‘girl’ or ‘boy’ (‘woman’ or ‘man’) feels like a complete fit.

Both gender labels feel incomplete, even inaccurate.

The people who understand me best understand that on some level, I experience life as both—and in my case, live and am perceived by others that way too.

I think of myself as both, beyond and in-between, which you can learn about here.

Plus, there’s usually a myriad of assumptions about a person’s experiences that get assigned along with those gender labels. Perhaps that’s another reason why the terms girl and boy don’t sit well with many nonbinary people. On a personal level, these gender assumptions rarely hold true for my life experience.

Finally, other language such as pronouns (she/her vs. he/him) all too often seem to follow a girl or boy assignment. So do terms of endearment, such as dear or sweetheart vs. dude or bro, for example.  This is another reason why I prefer to steer clear of the gender terms you’re asking about.

 

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A post shared by Cade Hildreth | They/Them 🏳️‍🌈 (@cadehildreth)

I hope this helps your understanding and congrats on growing yourself to better connect with your nonbinary sibling!”

What else would YOU add to this answer? Share your insights and experiences in the comments below.

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“As an LGBTQ+ entrepreneur, real estate investor, former USA Rugby Player, and fitness fanatic, I’ll teach you what your parents and teachers should’ve taught you, but didn’t know themselves.” -Cade Hildreth

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This #trans couple will be the first known parents This #trans couple will be the first known parents to welcome a baby born to a #transman in India. Congrats to Ziya and Zahad! 🏳️‍⚧️💙🍼

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Source: @paval19
With anti-LGBTQ+ and anti-trans legislation on the With anti-LGBTQ+ and anti-trans legislation on the rise, I have enormous RESPECT for people for are taking action to support our communities. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

Putting this into action are Dr @EricCervini, an author and historian, and his partner @Adam_Powell. Together they will be driving a bus full of banned #queerbooks across the U.S., starting this summer! 

I absolutely love this idea—and can't wait for them to swing by Virginia! 

From an article shared on XtraMagazine.com:

“With LGBTQ2S+ books under attack in the U.S. at record rates, author Eric Cervini and his boyfriend, actor Adam Powell, knew they wanted to take action. While others are organizing with protests, drag queen story hours, days of reading and other important acts of resistance, Cervini and Powell have their own spin on what to contribute to the movement—and that spin has wheels.

The pair are working on buying, then building, what they call the Rainbow Book Bus, a bookmobile carrying queer and trans books to small towns. 

After reaching their crowdfunding goal of USD $100,000 at the end of December, Cervini and Powell are now able to pay a specialized company to retrofit a school bus to become a beacon of queer literature. 

‘Our goal is to have at least an early version of it ready by Pride [in June],’ Cervini tells Xtra. ‘We want to have a bus that is converted—it may not be fully decked out, but it will be functioning as a travelling book shop/book fair—in the summer of 2023.’”

If you'd like them to visit your town, share it in comments! 🌈🚌

Image Source: Eric Cervini and Adam Powell

Article Link: https://xtramagazine.com/culture/queer-book-bus-eric-cervini-243787

You can also support them at @shopqueer.co! 🌈📚

#lgbtqia #lgbtqcommunity #trans #lgbtqyouth #transyouth
“You are who you choose to be.” -Carl Jung T “You are who you choose to be.” -Carl Jung 

This past summer we took a trip to Madden’s resort in MN to celebrate my parents 50th wedding anniversary with my parents, sister, brother in law, wife, niece and nephew. 

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