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You are here: Home / Confidence / Emotional Hygiene: 7 Things I Got Clarity on in 2022
Emotional Hygiene: 7 Things I Got Clarity on in 2022

Emotional Hygiene: 7 Things I Got Clarity on in 2022

January 3, 2023 By Cade Hildreth Leave a Comment

In 2022, I learned a lot of life lessons. I grew in indescribable ways. Unsurprisingly, I also struggled during that process, because growing pains often accompany the process of expanding into new and uncomfortable ways of being. The truth is, practicing emotional hygiene isn’t always easy.

On the upside, extremely I’m grateful for who I am today, as we start off 2023.

Over the past 12 months, I got crystal clear on the seven lessons below.

1. Good and bad are labels. All things are experiences.

We get told all the time that this experience is “good” and that one is “bad”. Or that this way of being is “right” and that one is “wrong”. The truth?

All things are experiences, nothing more, nothing less.

Breathe in that truth in and join me in not labeling your life in 2023.

2. Maturity is taking full responsibility for oneself.

I am grateful to share that I had a mentor who taught me that all of the world is experienced through my own mind and body and that I never actually experience another person’s thoughts, feelings, or reactions.

I can’t experience them, because it is my mind—including my pineal gland, my hypothalamus, and my adrenals—that regulate every emotion that I feel. It is also my body that receives the messages from these glands, creating the sensations that I label as “emotions”.

When I learned this, I realized that I was free to do anything, to be anything, and to create anything.

To me, maturity as an adult means taking full responsibility for myself. This includes my emotions, my behavior, and my health.

It also means that I can shift them in any way that I want, at any time. To me, that is emotional hygiene at its best.

3. Having a loving, conscious relationship with myself is a core value.

Ultimately, how I feel comes down to how to treat myself. Why? Because the only thing that is with me 24 hours a day is my mind and my body.

The life force that is “me” is what is meant to operate my life in a loving, conscious way. That life force is who can have a healthy relationship with my mind and body, of course.

Having a healthy relationship with my mind means having healthy inner boundaries around what I will tolerate from it. For example, I will tolerate—and even encourage—creativity from the mind. I won’t tolerate fear mongering from it.

Embrace inner boundaries. Like outer boundaries, they are the path to peace and empowerment.

4. Emotions do not mean that anything has to be done.

While outer musculature is for movement, inner musculature is for staying still.

Emotions are not a sign that anything has to be done.

I feel emotions, because I have a body and bodies are made to feel.

5. When I am in congruence with what I want, I have it.

Over time, I noticed that when I have inner conflict, I struggle to create what I want in my life. In contrast, when I have total congruence, I quickly create it.

This means that when I lack something that I want, I have to investigate where I have an inner conflict and do the work to shift it.

Emotional hygiene is about noticing and attending to inner health.

Emotional hygeine tips

6. I have permission from myself to stop doing anything that doesn’t lead to peace and empowerment.

Stopping actions, behaviors, and past ways of being isn’t something that we’re readily taught.

Regardless, I know my top priorities are peace and empowerment, so I choose to act in alignment with these goals, regardless of how others perceive my decisions.

7. Stepping toward emotions and being able to feel them is a superpower. It determines the quality of your life.

When we’re little, most of us get taught that emotions are scary. We’re taught to hide them. We’re taught to fix them. Often, we’re taught to suppress them.

I was taught all of those messages, in abundance.

But, the reality is that being able to feel emotions means that I can do an infinite number of things that others will be too scared to do.

The end result? I get to live a life that others can only imagine. Of course, if you aren’t already, you can too.

What did you get clarity on in 2022? Let me know in comments below.
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Filed Under: Confidence Tagged With: mindset

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“As an LGBTQ+ entrepreneur, real estate investor, former USA Rugby Player, and fitness fanatic, I’ll teach you what your parents and teachers should’ve taught you, but didn’t know themselves.” -Cade Hildreth

Want to know what I learned making my first few million? Subscribe here.

Or, listen to Cade’s articles on the go as a Podcast.

Because it’s the New Year, let’s talk about ch Because it’s the New Year, let’s talk about change...

For a long time, I’ve thought about top surgery. I remember when I was 6 or 7 years old when I wanted to run around outside on a hot, sunny day with my shirt off…and I first saw my parents… hesitate. Ughh. 

It wasn’t their fault but I still remember that heart wrenching feeling. To their credit, they ultimately said, “Ok, go do it!” While I did “do it”, I remember the feeling of shame that crept in.

Over the years, being in affirming sporting/rugby circles helped suppress the urge to get top surgery, but it never quite “stayed down.”

So last summer I got keyhole #topsurgery. I’ll talk about recovery in another post because it was definitely weird to not strength train for months.

But in THIS post, I want to share two things:

1. I am SO grateful to my wife Erin for being the supportive and growth oriented partner that she is. 🥰🙏❤️ 

She is now following her call to get a divinity degree and she’s already working in ministry as a Pastor in Training at an incredible, inclusive Presbyterian church here in Virginia. I am grateful to her for supporting me as I become more and more of who I am—and I’m enjoying watching her do the same! Love you, babe!

2. Second, I’m grateful to get to share who I am with my family. This summer we took a trip to Madden’s resort in MN to celebrate my parent’s 50th wedding anniversary. (It was actually their 52nd, because we had to postpone it twice due to Covid.)

I was nervous to be in the pools and lakes around them, but I could feel it was my only choice because I knew I wanted them to “know me”. And, how could that happen if I “hid me”?

Ultimately, I have to tell you…it was freeing to be me, as I am, who I am. 

I had the BEST time splashing around and biking and goofing around with my wife, niece, nephew, & sister. 🌊🏖🐟

So, I suppose, this is a gratitude post to thank those who have supported me over the years as I become more and more of who I am. 

Top of that list is my wife, Erin, but there are countless others. ❤️

If you’re reading this, thank YOU for being one of those people in my life too. I am deeply grateful. 🥹
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#lgbtqfamily #nonbinary
How to set a boundary? 🤔 . . . . #lgbtqia #lgb How to set a boundary? 🤔 
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#lgbtqia #lgbtqcommunity #emotionalhealth
What do you do if you’re telling a past story ab What do you do if you’re telling a past story about someone who has transitioned? 🤔 Share a 💯 if you agree ➡️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈
7 things I got clarity on in 2022: 1. Good and b 7 things I got clarity on in 2022: 

1. Good and bad are labels. All things are experiences. 

2. Maturity is taking full responsibility for oneself. 

3. Having a loving, conscious relationship with myself is a core value. 

4. Emotions do not mean that anything has to be done. 

5. When I am in congruence with what I want, I have it. 

6. I have permission from myself to stop doing anything that doesn’t lead to my peace and empowerment. 

7. Stepping toward emotions and being able to feel them is a superpower. It determines the quality of my life. 

(Are there any above that you’d like me to further explain?)
 
Most importantly, which # above resonates with you? ⬆️

Happy New Year, y’all! 🎊🥳
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#lgbtqcommunity #lgbtqiaplus #lgbtsupport #nonbinary #trans #selfgrowth
Interview with Jenny Nguyen, Founder of the Sports Interview with Jenny Nguyen, Founder of the Sports Bra—The World's 1st Bar to Only Play Women's Sports - shorturl.at/doGHZ

I'm excited to introduce you to today's #podcast guest, Jenny Nguyen, who is a professional chef, elite athlete, and entrepreneur.

I invited Jenny onto the podcast because she has done something extraordinary that is long overdue: She has opened up a sports bar that exclusively plays women's sports!

Despite extensive research, Jenny hasn't found another sports bar worldwide that ONLY plays women’s sports.

Given that it's nearly 2023, this is mind-blowing. As a lifelong athlete, I find her vision compelling and inspiring.

Aptly called the "The Sports Bra", the venue is putting Jenny's culinary skills on display alongside women's sports worldwide.

The Sports Bar has taken its mission a even further by partnering with and elevating other local, women-owned businesses.

Specifically, it:

1. Sources its grass-fed beef from @CarmanRanch, an ranch run by Cory Carman, a third gen rancher out of Wallowa, Oregon).

2. Sources its alcohol from Freeland Spirits, an all-women owned and operated distillery out of NW Portland.

3. Has furniture built by @girlsbuild_org, a non-profit organization headed by @ktmhughes in Portland, OR, that teaches carpentry and construction skills to young girls as a path to empowerment.

Since opening the Sports Bra this April, people have come from ALL over the U.S. and the world to experience it—including many professional female athletes.

To learn more about Jenny as she makes history, features women's sports, and elevates women-run businesses, listen to the episode here:

shorturl.at/doGHZ

Or, you can check out the Sports Bra at:

@thesportsbrapdx
TheSportsBraPDX.com/

Have you heard of the Sports Bra or been out to experience it in person?

#lgbtqiaplus #womenownedbusiness #lgbgtqia #lgbtqcommunity #womenssports #womeninsport
Over this recent holiday stretch, we… - enjoye Over this recent holiday stretch, we… 

- enjoyed some quiet time at home
- got a sauna delivered (but not yet installed)
- decorated for the holidays
- baked a bunch
- visited our favorite farm
- did some sight seeing
- and perhaps, most importantly, survived the cold snap along with our feather friends (who lived in the garage for a few days so we could heat them with a space heater) 🥶🐔

How have the holidays treated you…and did you get hit by the winter storms? ❤️🎁☃️❄️
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