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You are here: Home / Confidence / Haters Gonna Hate: Here’s How to Handle Haters Online
Haters Gonna Hate: Here’s How to Handle Haters Online

Haters Gonna Hate: Here’s How to Handle Haters Online

September 6, 2020 By Cade Hildreth Leave a Comment

Have you ever wondered how to deal with haters? If you release a lot content for your brand or your business, you’ll invariably get wide a range of responses.

In today’s digital world, it’s all too easy for people to be “keyboard warriors.”

Meaning, they’ll write things that they would never have the courage to say in person.

Let’s explore the main reasons to embrace your haters and how they actually fuel your success.

How to Deal with Haters Online?

Here’s what you need to know about dealing with haters online:

If you get hate mail, it’s good feedback.

If you get love mail, its great feedback.

However, if you get no feedback at all, that’s terrifying because it means no one cares.

It’s a sign that you’re not doing anything special, unique or profound.

Social Media Engagement

When you post on social, you can’t be fearful of haters. Why?

Because it’s also a reflection that you’re posting the right types of content. Your content should elicit reactions from other people.

If you put out a piece of content and it’s met with silence, it’s because:

  • It’s not entertaining.
  • It’s not controversial.
  • It’s nothing new.
  • It’s not pushing boundaries.
  • It doesn’t evoke emotion.
  • It’s not very interesting.
  • It’s not helpful.
  • It’s not unique.
  • It’s not presented in an interesting way.

If this happens, take the feedback from your audience and change your content style going forward.

Why to Embrace Your Haters Online?

Put simply, all interaction with your content is helpful because it fuels a dramatic increase in exposure for your messaging.

Social media platforms love engagement—all types of engagement— and their algorithms heavily favor it.

After all, humans are a social species and we like to be part of group interactions. In fact, we can’t resist it.

Dealing with online haters

As neuroscientist Matthew D. Lieberman wrote in the his pivotal book Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect:

“Long before there were any primates with a neocortex, mammals split off from other vertebrates and evolved the capacity to feel social pains and pleasures, forever linking our well-being to our social connectedness.”

The faster and quicker the comments, likes, and back-and-forth the replies on a piece of content, the better the feedback loop.

Both engagement rate and engagement speed are favored by social media platforms within their algorithms.

How Do Social Media Feeds Work?

Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, and all of the other social media platforms initially show a new post of yours to a small fraction of your followers. (*Think of it as a small “test group” of viewers.)

If, and only if, those followers engage with it above the “average” level for the platform, then your content gets shown to more of your followers.

This increased exposure is your reward for posting content that is highly engaging. 

Engaging Content Gets Rewarded

If this engagement continues as you get allocated larger scale exposure on a platform, then your content will be rewarded with even greater reach.

On platforms like Instagram where hashtag exposure can further spread your post or story to new viewership, this is how your content can go viral.

For example, this Instagram post got substantially higher engagement compared to other posts I’ve published and the reason is that it started showing to a lot of viewers through hashtag exposure.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Cade Hildreth | They/Them 🏳️‍🌈 (@cadehildreth) on Feb 27, 2019 at 4:28pm PST

Social Media Platforms are Auctions

Remember, the social media platforms are auctions.

The content you post is part of the “supply” in the auction and the feed shown to users is the “demand.” Your content has to over-perform in comparison to content posted by other users on the platform to “go up in value” and get shown to more users.

The best way to know you’re doing well with your content? You could dig into your social analytics OR you could simply ask people where your content is appearing in their feed!

Are you winning that coveted TOP spot?

Are you the very first post they see when they open up their app? This is know as appearing “above the fold” in the desirable space before the user has to scroll.

If you are appearing there, it’s a huge success. 

How to Deal with Haters? (Case Study)

As a stellar example of how to deal with haters, let’s reflect on how the Queer Eye star Jonathan Van Ness (JVN) had social media trolls and haters going crazy about his unusual (and fabulous!!) outfit from the 2019 MTV VMAs.

MISS @JVN WITH THE LEG OUT AND THE HEELS HIGH!!! #VMAs pic.twitter.com/9VvbNKfywj

— Normani Stan Account (@papermagazine) August 27, 2019

Thankfully, JVN knows a thing or two about handling haters, so he wrote a lovely and thoughtful reply to these comments:

The VMA’s were so major for me. I’ve gotten caught up in reading some really judgmental mean stuff about me. Some people hated my outfit, some hate me, they think I’m fake, irritating, too loud, too femme. But really I have to stay focused.

— Jonathan Van Ness (@jvn) August 28, 2019

Unsurprisingly, JVN’s audience responded to this message with an explosion of comments about how JVN has impacted their lives.

Because JVN stayed positive, stayed authentic, and responded in a positive and focused manner, he controlled the online conversation and rallied his fans. 

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“As an LGBTQ+ entrepreneur, real estate investor, former USA Rugby Player, and fitness fanatic, I’ll teach you what your parents and teachers should’ve taught you, but didn’t know themselves.” -Cade Hildreth

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My parents were asking me about the #Biohacking Co My parents were asking me about the #Biohacking Conference I attended in Florida this summer and I realized I hadn’t shared much about my experience with them…or with you. 

I attended it with one of my very best and longest friends, Jeremiah, and we had an absolute BLAST. 

Whether you are in the #lgbtqia community or not, I believe it’s incredibly important to be empowered around your own health. 

From ice baths to cryotherapy chambers, vibrational bikes, PEMF machines, hyperbaric oxygen therapy (HBOT), and beyond, the event was an incredible time. 

This is the first set of pics and I’ll share the rest tomorrow. (1️⃣ of 2️⃣)

When it comes to training and/or health, how empowered do you feel on a scale of 1-10? 

Let me know and I’ll try to share the main health lessons I’ve learned from this event (and life). 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

#lgbtqpride #lgbtqiaplus #queer #nonbinary #trans
Well, that’s satisfying… 🏳️‍🌈🏳️ Well, that’s satisfying… 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️➡️ 

“The Lawmaker Who Wrote Florida's ‘Don't Say Gay’ Law Is Going to Prison for Fraud”

Source and Images: https://www.politico.com/news/2023/10/19/ex-florida-gop-lawmaker-who-sponsored-so-called-dont-say-gay-bill-sentenced-to-prison-00122618

#lgbtqia #lgbtqcommunity #lgbtqiaplus #queer #queercommunity
Did some odds and ends at the beach house that we Did some odds and ends at the beach house that we AirBnB this week and it was unseasonably warm (about 72 degrees) so I finished up with beach time and and a walk along the sand… 🌊🏖

The beach was practically private…

Guess it pays to be from a cold climate (Minnesota) where you think low seventies is perfectly delightful. LOL. 

Where did you grow up and do you still live there? 🗺📍

#lgbtqia #lgbtqpride #lgbtqiaplus #nonbinary #trans #genderfluid
Heading to the hotel hot tub = gender joy. Leave Heading to the hotel hot tub = gender joy. 

Leave a 💛 in comments if you know this feeling … or, more importantly, support those who do!

#genderfluid #genderqueer #trans #nonbinary #lgbtqiaplus
There are real consequences to oppression. It affe There are real consequences to oppression. It affects ALL of us, not only those in the community being oppressed. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

Please leave a “💯” in comments if you agree and share this with those who don’t understand why anti-LGBTQIA+ and anti-trans laws have far reaching effects. 🙏

—

Source: CNN, https://www.cnn.com/2023/09/01/us/jake-kleinmahon-doctor-leaves-louisiana-reaj/index.html
I used to believe, I can’t be myself because it I used to believe, I can’t be myself because it will hurt people. 

Now I know the truth, which is, I can’t not be myself because it will hurt people. 

Leave a 💯 if this speaks to your experience... 

Also, do you think the art in photo 2 looks like Erin? ➡️🤔🌈
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