Guest Post: Hannah Noble
When I married my wife, Dawna, it brought out a side of me that I had never known before: defensiveness. I saw how much my defensiveness was hurting my partner and pushing her away. I was confused and frustrated by this side of me and I didn’t know what to do about it. I learned the humbling news from the well-respected marriage researcher, Dr. John Gottman, that defensiveness is one of the main predictors of divorce.
I wanted to find a better way, so I set out on a journey to try and learn how to overcome my defensiveness. I don’t have it down perfectly, but I’ve gotten much better. In this article, I’ll share with you what I’ve learned, based on the science of what happens to our brains and bodies in long-term, romantic relationships. [Read more…] about How to Stop Defensiveness in Conflict with Your Partner